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Our father-daughter relationship was more like a typical father-son relationship. I was also a dancer and heavily involved in the performing arts which attracts a wide variety of characters.

My mom hated seafood so we would often go get fish together and make fun of people at work, school, etc. I always made sure everyone felt welcome and included.

He shared some of his negative experiences with African-Americans and how they treated women in the Marines and what he felt the view of white women dating black men was.

Aside from the occasional comment on the freeway my dad never said anything about race. He responded saying and there was no point in trying to correspond with him. There was a pause, followed by “I wish you wouldn’t have told me that so I would still think the world is a cool place”.

More awkward silence, lack of eye contact, blank face.

I politely responded saying that I appreciated the explanation, but that these were not terms and conditions I was willing to live by.

All of the key players in my life had very different reactions to me having a black boyfriend. My sister pulled away from me in a big way after this incident fearing also being exiled by my father.

After a few hours of intense conversation he ultimately decided that this relationship was not for him.


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